Quaid doesn't get jokes.

She just doesn't get them. Even if they're obvious.... the only jokes she seems to understand are when you are criticizing the store manager who has some ridiculous ideas about how to run a store. She doesn't seem to get sarcasm either, and if you were to point out that you were either joking, or being sarcastic, she would treat you like YOU are the moron. Hopefully she'll die in a car crash one day.

Drive-thru incident...

Tonight I had the pleasure of doing drive-thru with Mr. Quaid... Recently I discovered that there is a little switch in the headset controller box that activates the loop detector with no car present at the speaker. When other people are doing headset I often flip the switch to confuse the hell out of the person because no matter what happens when the loop detector activates it transmits the "Ding" to all the headsets which tells the order-taker to do their job. Activating the switch can give the order taker "phantom" cars. I did this to Quaid twice tonight... to get him a little confused... Then when a car did rock up and I was standing next to the switch he assumed that he didn't need to take the order... he thought it was a phantom. I promptly told him... "Quaid, take the order, there's actually a car at the box." To which he says "Come on, I'm not falling for that one..." I tell him again... He holds down A and transmits the following to the orderbox, not knowing that there's actually a car there: "Whoever it is out there: FUCK OFF!" The customer hearing this immediatly inquired to what the hell he had just said. To which he fell on the floor laughing... That problem took a lot of explaining to get rid of...

Happy Anniversary Quaid Chronicles

Quaid Update

Its been a while since my last post here. Well a lot has changed at work. I have had to reduce my workload down to just one shift per week. I have also started working out the front, as opposed to working out the back. I used to always work in the kitchen, and now 90% of the time I am working in Drive-thru. So whats changed? Luke Finco left, and didn't come back. This is the ultimate blessing for us. Andy especially likes not having him around. I really felt sorry for Andy having to deal with that cunt all the time. Oh well... so much was wrong with that kid, that I really don't know where to start. We still get to deal with Luke Sands, although I have come to the conclusion that I don't really dislike him, and he's not particularly stupid. I guess I was just going thru a rough patch for a while and didn't really know what I thought of him. He's really not that bad. The store manager and the store owner had a huge fight. I didn't see them fighting but I think that it would have been quite exciting to see. All I knew was that I was starting at 3, and when I arrived at the store a bunch of Managers were standing in the carpark talking. Having worked there for long enough now, I am privy to more information than your average worker. I knew what had happened in the three-weeks that the store manager had taken stress leave, while the rest of the crew were speculating about what happened and whether he was ever going to come back. There were even rumors that the store-manager had quit because "He had joined a drug ring". I've said it before and I'll say it again. Rumors are fucking stupid. Roxy quit. She is now working at Blockbuster in Albert Park. Anyway, we are quickly approaching the first anniversary of the Quaid Chronicles, so I hope that you'll all stick around for the mad party that we'll be hosting. See you there.

The Comings and Goings of Apprentice Quaid (Part 2)

I heard a rumor that he is leaving again. I am trying to find substantial evidence for this claim. I also have a new Apprentice Quaid who needs to be added to the Blog as soon as possible. You all know who I am talking about.... If anyone wants to write something about him that would be great. The only problem is that he knows that the blog exists and he has read it in the past. I can only give clues as to who he is: he broke the mop bucket repeatedly.

The comings and goings of Apprentice Quaid

Well, this chronicle has pretty much blown over at work. It all happened about five weeks ago. I have been planning a post about this since the incident, but have just been so busy. Anyway, here goes: Apprentice Quaid was offered a job outside Maccas for $450 per week by his "father" installing fire suppression systems (sprinklers etc.) When everyone heard the news morale went so fucking high. Even our oldest, longest-working worker (who is known for being rather grumpy) was overjoyed. On his last shift after he left it was so bizarre, the thought that you will never have to work with this moron was right there in the front of your mind at all times. You were happy to be working. Moron was gone! Hail the chief! Whatever! The next week was like working in the Maccas in heaven! Everyone was so happy! And then her came back. Saying that his job had "fallen through" and that his Dad's sprinkler company had gone broke (and you wonder why - hiring idiots who add 2 and 2 and get 60 doesn't help) and that he was coming back to maccas. Now who in their right mind would hire this unwashed miscreant? Our store owner. That's who. Against the wishes of every person in the store, he rehired this loser and forced us to all work with him. God that man annoys me sometimes. And as for our oldest-working worker; I wouldn't have wanted to be there when they told this giant who was coming back.

Quaid and the missing telephone. [1]

A few weeks ago I turned up for work on the Tuesday and Quaid 1 was there. I came upstairs a few minutes early like I normally do and he asked me to ring another of the workers using the store mobile to find out where she was. Anyway, Quaid asks me to ring her so I ask him where the store phone is. Usually it is left in the office or on top of the production bin where it is easy to find. Today it wasn't these so I asked Quaid where the phone was. "Quaid, where's the mobile?" He replied with his typical look of ignorance: "I don't know, Isn't it in the office?" "No its not, is it in your pocket?" I asked him. "No, I haven't seen it all shift he replies. Anyway, he asks me to ask another of the workers if he has seen the phone. I ask him and replies by saying "Maybe [Insert store owner's name] has it??" Anyway, I go back inside and keep looking for the phone. I ask Quaid if he will ring it, so he does, after first spending 5 minutes looking for the number. The problem with keeping all the numbers of the workers in the phone is that when the phone goes missing so do all the numbers of the workers and the number of the phone so it is difficult to find when you really need it. Anyway, it starts ringing, Its definitely in the office somewhere. I can hear the ringer loud and clear. I realise where it is. The anger is building up in me, I want to kill him. He has had me on a wild goose chase for the last half-hour and all the time the phone is in his pocket. Typical Quaid. Moron.

How PMS Works.

I thought you guys might care about this article I found on HowStuffWorks.com. Thus, I present "How PMS Works.
How PMS works.

Every month like clockwork, some women come down with a strange collection of symptoms. They may become irritable, snapping at their family and friends without the slightest provocation. They may forget where they put their car keys and have trouble paying attention during meetings at work. They may crave chocolate or find themselves sneaking a few pieces of pizza after their children have gone to bed. Or they may suddenly hate the way they look because they feel bloated and their hair looks oily and lifeless. We are quick to give these symptoms a label: premenstrual syndrome, or PMS. But what is PMS? Some people dismiss it as "that time of the month" -- an excuse that women give in order to eat tons of chocolate and get away with acting a bit cranky. But doctors recognize PMS as a real medical condition, with real physical and psychological symptoms. For many women, the symptoms are debilitating enough to interfere with their lives. In this article, we'll discover how doctors identify PMS, learn the underlying causes of this ailment and find out how women who suffer from it can find relief.

REAL LIFE IN THE US! [1]

The other night at work, me and a co-worker, Carrie, were discussing a movie called Battle Royale. Quaid, eaves-dropping as that mannerless whore does best, came in and started discussing about a REAL LIFE TV show he saw on Foxtel, where in the states, competitors fight each other to the bloody death. I told him that's impossible, it's inhumane, and there's no way known a civilised country would allow such a thing. I brought up that maybe he caught on to a movie called Series 7, where people are selected randomly by gun license numbers, and put against each other to fight to the bloody death. He says, that it wasn't a movie and definitely a show on TV. He was actually so positive that it was real, I can't stress this enough, it scares me to think that someone could be stupid enough to think this is real. He then mentioned a particular character in this show he was watching, and then I went on to describe the rest of her actions in the film. Then he realised how much of an ass he looked like, and shut up. LOL. What a laugh, feels good to make him look like an idiot, especially in front of women cause that's what he hates most. Feels so good not to be Quaid. -OUT

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